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Saturday, February 15th, 2025
1:22 pm - just remember
as you delve deeper into my thoughts and what i write here.. that you asked and looked in.. please remember that when/if you go to comment to me about anything you see here..

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Friday, March 2nd, 2007
5:35 pm - Happy Birthday Theodor Seuss Geisel
also known as Theo. LeSieg, but mostly as.. Dr Seuss.

to quote one of my favorite books ...

"Think Left and think right
and think low and think high.
Oh, the Thinks you can think
up if only you try. "

An eternity of thanks.

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Tuesday, August 8th, 2006
10:27 pm - clean cup, clean cup MOVE down, move down
and yet the process today begins again.

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Tuesday, June 27th, 2006
10:36 pm - negative,
so he says.

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Thursday, March 23rd, 2006
10:16 am - to dream.. zee impossible(but very probable) dream
yes the dream, otherwise known as the reason i'm awake, after having not gone to sleep til 5am or so..

i was in a 2nd story home (one i lived in... i think) and looked out the window to see a deer.. or.. something.. ? this part i don't remember well.. run across the yard, and around the building.. out of window'view.. then it was followed by a guy .. with a crossbow firing at said animal.. and me yelling down at him. then him pulling out a mac'10 ish weapon/gun. to me.. then.. grabbing phone.. and calling 911.. except when i ducked away from the window.. i had trouble seeing the license plate fully of the vehicle he was in/pulling guns from. it was a worn older station wagon. .. and i could only read like 3 or 4 letters... so.. i did my sneaking.. and snuck downstairs.. and outside.. towards the vehicles, to get a proper view.. all the while.. on the phone with 911.. being fully scared.. rightfully so. and the guy just going off.. firing shots. well, the automatic weapon we originally had.. went out of ammo, or something. for now he had pistols.. and a rifle/shotgun'ish weapon. to which.. i'm basically.. quietly crying/screaming at the 911 op to hurry and get the police to me... all the while. playing do'see'do around this vehicle with him firing shots.. saying how he doesn't really want to have to shoot me. until i make a dash for another vehicle/hiding spot.. or.. somehow the scene quickly shifts to him being in another vehicle, just sitting there... with the driver's door open .. and the cops rolling up.. and me pointing at him.. and his position .. and the 3 guns he was last carrying.. on the street.. and me not going anywhere near them. and the cops saying the .. wait here to file the report... blah, blah , blah.. and me going over to the station wagon.. going to the front, &seeing the front licence plate i read it off, it did only have 4 letters.. B O Y S ... (i think) which is what i think i sawwhen i viewed down from the top floor window.. ...

and if this was a dream, to say trust my instincts, or first .. whatevers.. its a really fucked up way of doing do.

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Friday, February 24th, 2006
4:33 pm - Fucking 5mph, piece of plastic crunching.. shit
insurnace company just called, about my car thats in the shop, yeh. seems they are now wanting to total it out.. from a 5mph crash.. and because of the crash, its only valued at just over $2,000 which, there's no way i could get another vehicle for, thats as nice,or runs as well, or.. well. is either ONE of those factors.. let alone both.. so, now i'm going to have to jump through Many a legal hoops, get the thing put on a salvage title, cause the stupid thing still runs, just has alot of cosmetic damage (which the shop has already Half repaired). and just hope the interior damage.. isn't enough to keep such an inspection from making/turning it back into a legal operable driving title. for you can not drive a vehicle, legally, thats listed under a salvage title. and with my luck *this being further proof of such* no wanting to make another trip to jail because i'm driving a "salvaged" car...

so.. FUCKKANFOINAKLGJNALSKJDFIKJASNFMNGHBEA,difh . ughh...

but, yeh, more great news for yours' truely

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Friday, February 3rd, 2006
3:13 pm - Lap #3
3 years today..? i had to actually stop and do the math.. yes 3 years... guess it'll prolly never not seem like just..

.. but yeh 3 years, and still prolly not any better.

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Thursday, December 15th, 2005
9:27 pm - "... no one understands I don't know why I bother talking to anyone"
that seems to be one of my faults, i never seem to understand.. when am i to be serious, when am i to console, when do i poke sarcasm, when do i .... and i really never understand with someone who feels it a bother to even talk to me. i don;t know what it is about me that you will decide out of the blue talk to me after months.. near a year, of not... i don;t know why i feel like dirt after you have, feel like i'm an old rag you will use on rare occassions to wash the shit of other guys & life in general off you with, then seem to get ashamed to acknowledge having around and ignore whenever you get the chance. i don;t know why i seem to keep letting this occur and people doing it to me. i don't know why you seem to accept my friendship one minute, then treat any attempts to talk, meet up, or just plainly get to know the other more.. as if its court ordered community service , if you are even that polite about it. i just don;t know, and i don;t think i ever will. and.. ya know, sometimes you just will never know the reason to things. and if you feel you must know the answer to all lifes questions, all lifes problems, the reason for all these things. you will not get anywhere cause you'll spend all your time chasing your own tail.

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Saturday, October 8th, 2005
6:44 pm - a long overdue apology
couple days ago i ran into this girl (well more she ran into the group of people i was talking to) that i first met 8,9 years ago. i've ran into her on brief/odd occassion, cause thats what happens when you inhabit the same area of town... and i've come to the realization that i don;t think i ever properly apologized for being such an ass that caused us to loose contact that first time. see,i was just out of high school, trying to find my way, twine my way through college, life..etc. no, thats a bullshit statement. i was just out of high school when i first met her. she was just starting high school. and i was purely afraid... i liked her, i very much did. she had an , an accepting innocence about her. an intelligence that you could tell was just screaming to be let out. not to mention that she had a beautiful smile. and she seemed to accept me, no matter that i was a bit older. no matter that i was on the verge of having to drop out of college. that i didn't seem to be doing anything, or going anywhere. that i was a bit crazy sometimes, and looked at the world differently. thats why i would come pick her up from school on occassion, talk with her on the phone. go to her birthday party... but i was afraid to admit a lot of this. so, being a dumbass, i'd say that i couldn;t Date her, cause of our age difference, the blah.. blah.. blah bullshit about society looking down up on it, her parents not liking me,.. yeh that... stupid stuff. so we played this. game (for lack of better phrase). she would .. try and set me up with someone.. anyone it seemed sometimes.. i never expected her to actually find someone, and deep within.. kinda hoped she wouldn't. but that game, that excuss.. was in my pathetic mind.. a reason, an excuse to keep seeing her, keep picking her up from school occassionally, keep hanging out & talking with her... an excuse for doing something i wanted to do, enjoyed doing, but couldn't fess up enough to say so. then she eventually tired of this game. and i believe (rightfully so) started to resent, hate me even.. anyways, .. i don;t think i ever did properly apologize to her.

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Monday, October 3rd, 2005
8:52 pm - DAMNITT>>>>>>..
ok, who out there keeps putting my name up on all the gay boi lists????

younghotboyoncam: hey whats up
dionysus5845: ... hello.
younghotboyoncam: asl?
dionysus5845: bot?
younghotboyoncam: no
dionysus5845: if you were interested in that info. it's on my prfile.
younghotboyoncam: i didnt look
dionysus5845: and no offense.. but if your screen name is any indicator of what your messaging me for. i'm not interested. its not the field of play i play upon.
younghotboyoncam: ok



GGGGGGGRRRRRRRRRRRR>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

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Wednesday, September 28th, 2005
4:07 pm - this warning goes out to all the dogs in the neighborhood
yeah.. guess who just got a mutha' funk'in Accordian....


oh yeh, you know who..

and for $25 no less.

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Monday, September 5th, 2005
11:36 pm - road'trippin
minneapolis itself was a bust.. but the rest of it was fun, even stop'd at a casino just outside of chicago for a lil bit.
why was it a bust?
oh.. minneapolis.. cause i had gone up there to hang out with a friend. and all the did was complain about .. everything.. even driving down the road they were yelling at/about the other drivers. i don;t think they really laughed.. once.. the whole time not sure if they even cracked a smile... it was just kinda. ... why am i here.. feeling i had about it.and i wasn;t even going to be there that long.. get up there to hang out tuesday night.. then hang out weds since they had the day off.. well.. met up tuesday night. drove around. eventually got some late night food at a dinner, they didn;t eat. .. didn;t go anywhere cause they had a friend that was supposed to call 'em and have us go out with them .. somewhere.. i guess.. but the friend never called. so yeh.. just drove around the lake.

then on weds. first they didn;t meet up with me til.. almost 2pm.. and the hotel i stayed at, checkout was 11am.. then.. we went to the mall of america.. walked around for a lil bit.. went to the one store they really like, were in there for awhile while they looked for something for thier mom's 50th b-day.. then got some chinese.. then took me to my car so i could drive home. cause they had errands they needed to run. ...
but the stop on the way back near detroit was some fun, though i slept for half of it...hell, even the tire blowout i had on the freeway in the middle of the night was more excitement then minneapolis..

ah wells, such the luck of random roadtrips..

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Sunday, August 28th, 2005
12:44 pm - *sings* .. and dream a lil dream for me ...
so, i was the personal aide for the president, now el W... but for martin sheen's president character on West Wing. except no camera's or nuthin.. and we weren't in the white house, except we were but it was more like a school. anyways, we had gone thru the cafeteria line. and he got a styrofoam plate with some fried rice on it.. and as we were going back to his office/wherever he was going to eat.. i somehow start carrying it, and he goes ahead somewhere. well i stumble and spill the contents of the plate on the ground (prolly cause i'm f'in clumsy).. anyways, i drop the presidents food and look around for the secret service to not notice me, and quickly grab up the rice with my hands and put it back on the plate. not being able to recover much of the food from the ground, and that ya know its for the president.. i decide i just need to go fetch him another plate. ok.. NOW it gets weird'er for me... cause i decided to take a short-cut, or something, and walk outside, instead of inside along the hallway, i think cause i somehow came to the realization that i was in my underware, inside a school, and that i didn;t want the students to see me, that it might be inappropriate or something. i was only wearing my black briefs that i wear when i perform (which happens to be what i was sleeping in, except in the dream i had no shirt, and i had a shirt on when sleeping, so.. who knows.) and rush back into the cafeteria and get steal another plate. then.. some ass'hat calls me (its a sunday and its 8'ish am) and wakes me from said dream..

hmm... so yeah, you're guess is as good/better than mine..

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Monday, August 15th, 2005
2:14 am - *ques Queen* .. Another one bites the dust, another one bites...
the "and i don't think i will be talking to you anymore" is the.. vibe? .. i got from you when you excused yourself that day. with everything else, i didn't want to keep bothering you, so i was going to see if i read that feeling correctly. that is what i horribly attempted at asking about. it had absolutely nothing to do with, .. it had nothing to do with... . i justed wanted to make sure if i shouldn't bother you anymore, or just stay away longer to give you more time to...

anyways, in the stumbling over my own feet way, i guess i found my answer. do hope you find a way to cope, and get through.
much luck with it.

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Monday, July 18th, 2005
8:36 pm - *grabs towel & guide*
You're very strange," she said.
"No, I'm very ordinary," said Authur, "but some very strange things have happened to me. You could say I'm more differed from than differing."

yeps, thats it.. thats it completely.

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Friday, July 15th, 2005
6:52 pm - tour de columbus
guess who picked up a check at their work, went to the bank to deposit said check, went to promowest pavilion downtown to get a $5 cake concert ticket, then to the library, then to the dollar store (granted across the street from library) to get some mouthwash.. all on his bicycle.. ...

i've realized a few things today.. first i am out of shape.. 2, the extra seat cushion i have.. though incredibly soft... isn't enough for such a long ride... not yet anyways..(do i really want/need/want to build up ass calis'issss.. yeh , yeh i do) and 3.. i SOoooo can't wait til my new backpack arrives... hauling everything in pockets is for the birds.. birds with pockets that is..

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Monday, July 11th, 2005
4:42 pm - wait for it,, wait for it.....
well, we've been waiting for the other show to drop when it came to this job..


*THUD*


now we see if our squirrel harvesting skills are really up to snuff...

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Saturday, April 30th, 2005
1:42 am - *scratches off zee list*
yeps, i'm officially finally fucking moved, all crap has been transported to new (temp) place. james assisted for a couple things, otherwise.. yeh. and to think i get this great joy again in just a couple months. go team go...

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Wednesday, April 27th, 2005
12:39 am - first idiot of the new place
biozombie666: is your cock proportionate with you
BUZZ!!!
dionysus5845: excuse me?
biozombie666: how big is your cock
dionysus5845: i'm a city folk.. i have no rooster
dionysus5845: why
biozombie666: how big is it
dionysus5845: who are you
biozombie666: do you like too f ck
dionysus5845: are you 12?
biozombie666: you like 12
dionysus5845: you have a blank profile... and are messaging someone (me) randomly.. and expect them to answer a question of how large thier penis is.. when thats the first question out of your mouth?
biozombie666: i have 15 year old sister
dionysus5845: thats nice.. maybe she can assist you with the english language

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Thursday, April 21st, 2005
10:51 am - the sun rises in the east, tis why i choose the bedroom facing west.
i'm finally moved (mostly) & finally the internet hooked up at new place, so i have all needed daily items here at the new place. just boxes of old junk left to get, so the pestering of helping move has passed. slept here for first time, always an odd feeling.

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